You can reduce today’s gospel to simply be a guide for settling disputes, but it is more than that. It is a guide for living together as His disciples. The goal is to guard the unity of the Church through truth, love, and mercy so that the Church remains an evangelizing agent in the surrounding world. One only needs to think of St. Paul’s concern with the community in Corinth (1 Corinthians) when their internal disputes threaten to spill out into the larger community. Paul’s concern is the witness of truth, love and mercy. In our time we have lots of examples of how even the behavior of one parishioner or priest diminishes the individual and the Church. If only someone had applied our modern axiom: see something, say something.
Assuming you have seen clearly and understand the context, it is the “say something” that often gives us pause. We are a people reluctant to correct even wildly inappropriate behavior of children not-our-own in a public place. We are a people that don’t want to seem to be judgmental. But let’s call it “assessment” and in your many years of life experience, do you think your assessment is incorrect? Yet, we hesitate.
But our Gospel passage does not seem to leave us options. The verb “go” is the imperative tense. “If your brother sins against you, GO and tell him his fault between you and him alone.” In a sense we have our “marching orders.” And as we “go” we need to think about what’s next.
Jesus does not say, “Tell everyone else first” or “See if you can appear righteous and preachy.” Jesus asks us to reach out to the person in a way that respects their dignity and prevents gossip from poisoning the community. It will be a tough conversation and is worthy of prayer and reflection before setting out.
Hopefully it goes well. It may not go well. If it doesn’t, Jesus says to try again but this time to take along one or two witnesses. This is not about ganging up, but about helping your brother or sister see that it is not just your view, but the larger community sees what you see. Hopefully the brother or sister will see the truth more clearly and take the chance to listen and change.
If that still fails, then “tell the Church.” This step acknowledges that our relationships are not purely private affairs. In Christ, we belong to a body — the Body of Christ — and the wounds of one member affect the whole. The Church has the responsibility to safeguard communion, to correct with love, and, if needed, to set boundaries for the good of the community. In practical terms, it means to talk with one of the priests or the pastor. Canon 529 §1: A pastor is to “strive to know the faithful entrusted to his care” and help them live the Christian life. The next step is private dialogue and if needed private admonitions.
Then comes the line that often troubles people: “Treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.” In first-century Jewish life, that meant someone outside the covenant family — someone you could not pretend was in full communion. But remember — how did Jesus Himself treat Gentiles and tax collectors? He didn’t ignore them or despise them; He sought them out, invited them to conversion, and loved them enough to speak the truth. Matthew himself, the author of this Gospel, was a tax collector whom Jesus called into friendship and apostleship. It is all evangelization; the door remains open in Hope.
At every step, forgiveness is not optional. Jesus will go on, in the verses right after today’s passage, to tell Peter to forgive “seventy-seven times” (Mt 18:22). Forgiveness means we release the debt, we refuse to seek revenge — but it does not mean we ignore the truth or allow ongoing harm. Love is both merciful and truthful.
In the end, this process is not about winning an argument but winning a brother or sister back to communion. If we follow it with humility, patience, and prayer, we imitate the patience of God, who never stops seeking the lost.
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