“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me…” (Mt 10:37) I think there is a tendency among believers that when we hear those words, we respond with, what I call, “the holy nod.” It is our reflexive response: Jesus said it, it must be true, amen, alleluia. Yet if we sit with it for a moment, there is a certain harshness to the words. We treasure our families—we pour our hearts into the daily rhythms of care, communication, sacrifice, and support, and more. How do Jesus’ words reconcile with the Christian ideal of love?
But Jesus is not diminishing the love we owe our families. Rather, He is reordering it—elevating it. In calling us to love Him first, Jesus invites us to see that love of family finds its fullest meaning and power when rooted in our love for God.
We are called to “take up our cross” (v. 38). And for many, that cross is carried not on distant mission fields or grand platforms, but within the home: in caring for an aging parent, raising a child in faith, forgiving a sibling, or choosing self-sacrifice for the good of the household. These acts, often hidden and humble, are expressions of deep discipleship.
Yet Jesus also broadens our understanding of family just as yesterday he broadened our understanding of neighbor via the parable of the Good Samaritan. Jesus reminds us that those who welcome a prophet or a righteous person, or give a cup of cold water to “one of these little ones,” are participating in the life of the kingdom. In other words, the Christian is not only a member of a biological family, but a part of the family of faith. The Church becomes a new household—formed not by blood, but by baptism.
This means our responsibilities extend beyond our homes. We are called to build up the community of believers—to look after the lonely, to support struggling parents, to welcome the refugee, and to nurture the faith of children not our own.
In doing so, we imitate Jesus, who redefined family when He said, “Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother, and sister, and mother” (Mt 12:50). His words challenge us to ask: Do I treat fellow parishioners, neighbors, or the vulnerable as members of my own family? Do I welcome them as I would Christ?
In the Eucharist, we are reminded of this communion—a family gathered at the same table, receiving the same bread of life. As we go forth from this celebration, may we love our families deeply—but always in the light of Christ’s call. And may we never tire of building up His family—the Church—with generous hearts, cups of cold water, and the kind of love that puts God first.
Image credit: Pexels | Arina Krasnikova | CC-0