Marriage Preparation Frequently Asked Questions

The short answer is that Catholic fiancés must provide records of Baptism and Confirmation – however, make sure you read the “long answer” that follows.  For Christians from other denominations a photocopy of their denomination-provided baptismal record is also needed.

The Catholic fiancé must provide a newly issued document of the Catholic baptismal certificates with annotations. “Annotations” refer to the sacramental recording of subsequent First Eucharist, Confirmation and other sacraments on the back of the newly issued certificate.

Your baptismal church will have the records. You need only call the church, tell them you need it for an upcoming wedding, give them the date (or at least an idea of the date of the baptism) – and tell them where you would like the certificate sent (to you is the best place). 

The newly issued document must be signed and sealed by the issuing parish. The date on the certificate must be less than 6 months since issue when St. Francis receives the document.

A photocopy of the original certificate is not adequate. If there are “complications” in obtaining the documents, not to worry, we can figure it out when we meet.

A photocopy of the Confirmation certificate is fine.

By the way, lots of our couples were baptized overseas in their parent’s country of origin or in overseas military chapels. You may have to allow a little more time, but the newly issued certificates can always be obtained.

For Christians from other traditions, we also ask that you provide some documentation that affirms you are baptized in that tradition. A photocopy of the original is sufficient. If that is not available, some of the denominations will issue certificates or letters affirming that your baptism in in their records. And if all the above is not possible, a signed letter from a parent attesting that you were baptized (church, date, and denomination) will suffice.

Yes there are: a marriage license and affidavits testifying to your freedom to marry.

Marriage license: all weddings must provide a valid marriage license. In the case of first marriages, it must be a validly issued license from the Commonwealth of Virginia. All ceremonies in a Catholic Church must be legally valid as well as canonically valid (re: the Church).  In the case of an already existing civil marriage which the couples wishes to sacramentally celebrate in the Church (called convalidation), a photocopy of the license must be provided.

Affidavits of Freedom to Marry: Each person is required to submit two affidavits from persons who are in a position to affirm that you were not previously married (in church, civilly, justice of the peace, a night in Vegas, at sea, or common law marriage, etc.). Parents and siblings are great. The priest or deacon preparing you will provide you the documents. Forward them to the folks providing the testimony. They are the ones completing the form – AND – their signature must be witnessed by a notary public or a sealed by a church secretary. The four complete affidavits must be returned to the Church.

There is an initial meeting with the priest/deacon who will help you prepare for the celebration of your wedding. The primary purpose is to get to know a little bit about the couple.  All very relaxed and conversational. This meeting and other follow-on meetings will also review the FOCCUS with you.  The follow-on meetings are simply a facilitated discussion between you and your fiancé based on the results of the survey. The meetings will also cover important topics of the Sacrament you are preparing to celebrate.

A “Pre-Cana” program is only one part of the entire preparation process. We ask couples to schedule their “Conference for the Engaged” with the Diocese of Arlington which offers a wonderful and thorough program.  You can find available conferences here. They have online registration. You must already be in the marriage preparation process at St. Francis in order to register for a conference

After the all the other meetings and usually after your “Conference for the Engaged”, there is a private conversation between the priest/deacon and each of you individually – these are relatively brief conversations intended to ensure that the freedom to marry is present without undue pressure.

At the end of the preparation process, it is a good time to sit down and plan the ceremony. A good target is 60 days before the wedding date. After planning the ceremony with the priest or deacon, you can then meet with the Music Director to plan that part of the ceremony.

From the beginning of the procession through the final recession, all in between is the liturgical ceremony of the Catholic church.  And so, a wedding celebration is the same as a Sunday Mass or Holy Day Mass.  While we recognize that weddings are a special day, we have lots of experience with couples and families wanting to insert traditions, customs, music, etc. into the ceremony.

A very succinctly stated guideline is this:  if you don’t see or hear it during a Sunday Mass, do not ask to include it in the wedding ceremony.

Some of our more interesting requests we have received are:

• Can my dog be part of the wedding party?
• Can my ring bearers dress up as 1920s News Boys processing down the aisle shouting, “Read all about it!  Read all about it!  Here comes the bride!”?
• A Radio Flyer wagon, tricked out with wedding canopies and flowers, bringing all of the two-year olds down the aisle.

The list is actually a lot longer but these are a few of our favorites.

So as you think about your celebration, remember the guideline: If you don’t see or hear it on Sundays, it cannot be part of the wedding celebration here but… We would encourage you to incorporate these fun things into your reception.